Granola Grabbers and why I’m getting a D in domestic arts
I’ve never been accused of being particularly domestic.
When I was in college, I moved into my first apartment with my friend Amy. One night, I saw her hurl a piece of bad fruit out the back door onto the gravel alley. A few weeks later, I burned a pan of lasagna. What do you think I did with it?
Oh, yes.
As if I thought some great claw would drop down from the sky and sift away the trash. Like our alley was a gigantic, motorized litter box.
I’ve come a long way since then.
But then there are weeks like this one, when you feed the dog scraps and have to Google “brisket barf AND bamboo.” When you have smoke detectors installed, and the next day, when you slip out of bed to make breakfast and get an A+ in being the Best Wife Ever!, the delicious bacon sets them all off, and THEY ALL SOUND DIFFERENT. And you can’t reach them! Because you just moved in, and you CAN’T FIND A CHAIR!
It’s been one of those weeks when you’re out with your husband and realize you’re wearing a black bra under a very light, white shirt, and you remember the girl who used to come into your philosophy class wearing a bright teal bra under an eyelet lace blouse, talking about how the ham sandwiches her husband made her were an aphrodisiac, because they were “made with the hands of love.” And when you ask your husband why he didn’t say anything, he acts like he was butting out of your fashion statement.
He was probably just thankful I wasn’t wearing the Rocky T-shirt.
But things are looking up. I’ve got chairs posted near the smoke detectors. Henry is under a strict no-brisket policy. I’ve got the bra situation in headlock. And I upped my domestic mojo by MAKING the granola that went into this week’s Tuesdays with Dorie recipe: Granola Grabbers, chosen by Michelle of Bad Girl Baking. Extra credit!
The nice thing about these granola cookies is that they’re easy to customize. Simply take out the offending ingredient (aka “raisins”) and replace it with something delicious (i.e. dried cherries, chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, dried apricots). Trade the peanuts for cashews. Trade the wheat germ for anything but wheat germ. Or add more of an ingredient you really love, like coconut. Or pepperoni.
The resulting cookie is a crazy mix of granola, fruits, and nuts–just like a party at Elton John’s!
Enjoy the recipe after the jump. And if you’re domestically-challenged, please stand up in the Comments section, and TESTIFY!
Granola Grabbers
From Dorie Greenspan’s Baking: From My Home to YoursMakes about 40 cookies
- 3 cups granola without fruit
- 3/4 cup moist, plump raisins (dark or golden)
- 1/2 cup salted peanuts
- 1/2 cup slivered almonds
- 1/2 cup sweetened shredded coconut
- 1/3 cup wheat germ
- 1 3/4 sticks (14 tablespoons) unsalted butter, at room temperature
- 3/4 cup (packed) light brown sugar
- 1/4 cup sugar
- 1 large egg
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 1 cup all-purpose flour
Getting Ready: Position the racks to divide the oven into thirds and preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Line two baking sheets with parchment or silicone mats.
Put the granola in a large bowl and break up any clumps with your fingers. Add the raisins, peanuts, almonds, coconut and wheat germ and mix together.
Working with a stand mixer, preferably fitted with a paddle attachment, or with a hand mixer in a large bowl, beat the butter at medium speed until smooth, about 2 minutes. Add the sugars and beat for another 3 minutes, or until creamy. Add the eggs and salt and beat until well blended. Reduce the mixer speed to low and add the flour, mixing only until it is incorporated, then steadily add the granola and fruit. Stop the mixer when most of the granola mix is blended into the batter and finish the job with a sturdy rubber spatula, making sure to get up any bits of dry ingredients left in the bottom of the bowl.
Scoop out rounded tablespoonfuls of dough, pack the scoops between your palms and arrange the mounds on the baking sheets, leaving about 1 1/2 inches between them. Flatten the mounds lightly with your fingertips.
Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, rotating the sheets from top to bottom and front to back at the midway point. The cookies should be golden brown but not firm. Allow them to rest on the sheets for 1 to 2 minutes before transferring them to racks to cool to room temperature.
Repeat with the remaining dough, cooling the baking sheets between batches.
Storing: In a covered cookie jar, these will be fine for about 3 days. If you want to keep them longer, wrap them airtight and freeze them for up to 2 months.
You are hysterical….I’ve had weeks like that,too. My most recent domestic doofusness was my 1st week of TWD, when I completely forgot to put the baking powder in the loaf. I got a bruise from smacking myself in the forehead on that one.
Rebecca,
You crack me up. I haven’t been domesically challenged
(this week)…
The cookies look delish.
Lesson # 1. Brisket+dogs=yucky mess.
Oh please, I’ve had the past 3 weeks like that – and you’re not sure whether to laugh or cry! Just eat alot of cookies!
If these cookies are domestically challenged, I am not seeing it. Not. At. All. They look great.
Domestically challenged? Well, I don’t bake…that’s why I am doing this TWD thing, so I can learn. So far, so good. I haven’t burnt any lasagna, had to look up any “b” words, set off any fire alarms, or added pepperoni to cookies. I laughed at every single one of these…I come here for the laughs, you know. You never disappoint.
Your cookies look great! I have grand intentions for all things “domestic” but for some reason, they always look better in my head than in execution. You made me laugh with the fire alarm thing! :)
all of your baked goods look so perfect, i would never guess that you are a domestic delinquent! these cookies look fabulous! brisket barf and bamboo…what a mess…
Super looking cookies. Your blog made me laugh..thanks!
Love your Elton John line! Very funny!
And, don’t worry, that black bra white blouse thing is apparently back in fashion.
Once, back in “the day,” my roomie and I had an unidentified stench in our apartment. We cleaned out the fridge, took out the trash, scrubbed the floor, but still couldn’t find the source. Then we gave up, for about six more weeks. One day I dropped something next to the fridge. Bending down to pick it up I found a black/green slimy mass encased in plastic. Forensic experts later determined it to be what was once a package of slice turkey from the deli..and the source of our stench. Ahh, a domestic goddess’s humble beginnings.
I love your lasagna story. I definitely had some domestic growing pains during those days. Your cookies look swell. You’ve come a long way, baby. :)
I have had weeks like that.
I generally make my way upstairs to my bed, Dove Dark in hand. Lock the door behind me and don’t come out for hours.
Okay. I break glass. That’s it, that’s why I’m domestically challenged. Cups, jars with food in them, bottled beverages, I have broken more than several favorite drinking glasses. Sometimes two days in a row. It could be dropping it, banging it on the tile counter top, tapping it too hard, looking at it too fondly…
At any rate, making your own granola most definitely is redeeming. Very nice done, and told.
Oooh!! Cashews! Excellent choice. Great post. Did anything(one) ever eat that lasagna that you tossed into the alley? Anyway, your cookies look so good.
I’ve had weeks like that. I’ve tried to forget weeks like that! lol! Your cookies look fabulous!
This just made me laugh like mad. As far as lack of domesticity… I must admit, I am incapable of making up something from scratch when cooking. Inevitably, it is either over or under-spiced, and tends to have too many things in it.
It sounds like you’ve got a lock on the domesticity thing for right now though – good luck!
Your cookies look great! I always love reading your posts :)
They look like they turned out really good!
The post guest-starring the Rocky T shirt still cracks me up…
heehee, pepperoni. it would probably work out in this cookie. :P nice job, they look awesome!
Wow! Your cookies look so nicely browned. I love your entry and take on granola grabbers.
they look great! and we all have our moments ;)
So entertaining…something I really needed after a long night, although I can’t say it compared to yours! Your cookies look great despite all that may have been going on around the time you made them!
Just like a party at Elton John’s. I love it. Yours look wonderful and you’re freaking hilarious, it kills me!
New TWD-er here. Love your Elton John cookies! I think if you would attempt to fry up a pan of bacon when you just moved into a new place, you are a domestic goddess. Great post!
You’re a great writer! Made me laugh out loud.
Thanks for the welcome to TWD. I’ll be back to visit your blog often
Oh, I nearly spit up at the Elton John comment! You are too funny!!
And i set off my alarm too. Just stay in bed. He’ll come to expect breakfast if you try too hard. At least, that’s MY theory.
Your are a riot sister! I flunked domesticity when I when a girlfriend but I’d say I am a B+ as a wifey. Live and learn right? PS. I have smoke alarm issues but they are curbing now that I use the oven fan more. Thats why I gave myself a “+”. Cookies look yummy! Great job Mrs. Domesticity!
Clara @ iheartfood4thought
Lordy there is so much wrong with my comment. I really need to reread before publishing.
Your=You
when I when = when I was
Too funny! I just had my domestically-challenged moment this morning…I made some corn muffins with fresh corn on Sunday. Did what I always do with leftover muffins – wrap in saran and then re-heat in toaster oven for breakfast a few days. Doesn’t usually matter if they’re stale as the re-heating perks them up. Uh…unless you were leaving a fresh vegetable such as corn, out at room temp and a little moist, in the summer, for 3 days. You cannot imagine what a foul taste greeted me in the middle of that muffin. Thank goodness I wasn’t feeding small children or the elderly. I’m still waiting to see how my system reacts to the corn poison. I hope it holds off until after my client meeting today. :)
I’ve had too many domestically-challenged moments in my life to remember them all but the best is the ‘disappearing lasagna noodles’. I made home made lasgana noodles so thin that when I layered them with a ricotta/spinach mixture, they disintegrated while baking. This is my husband’s favourite dish and I had made it for Father’s Day. He still talks about it! Now whenever I made lasagna he reminds me not to forget the lasagna noodles.
Your cookies look delicious! And your post is halirious. It’s great to have a chuckle early in the morning.
Hopefully this week will be better. =) The cookies look wonderful, despite all the other challenges.
You are a hoot. The whole black bra thing happened to one of my best friends. Finally, after we’d been at work a couple hours, I asked her if she was trying out a new look. She looked at me very puzzled and I pulled her over to a mirror, where you could see her black bra under her sheer white blouse. She screamed, ran home, and changed. That night, she asked her husband how he could let her walk out of the house like that, and he said he thought it was supposed to look like that!
I’m just proud you were wearing a bra. You could have been one of THOSE girls, which here Down South we call HUSSIES. Rebecca, my love, you are a modern day domestic goddess! If you weren’t a domestic goddess you would have left the barf on the floor and wondered aloud where it came from when Jeff came home. OR! told him it was spilt granola mix! they kinda look alike you know…
Great looking cookies, I like the golden brown color!
Thank you for the laugh, I needed it! I could also use another dozen of these babies to keep me company on the couch, where I’ve been relegated to for the time being.
Your cookies look just like the ones in Dorie’s book! Also, I have to tell you, I just spent way too long reading back through your archives, alternatively cracking up and drooling. Love your blog!
Enjoyed the bit about the girl with the bright teal bra and the “hands of love!” A fun blog and those cookies look good.
Thanks for another laugh!
My most domestically challenged moment was when I caught my husband’s parent’s toaster on fire in college! But I have also burned many a batch of cookies (usually the last tray). I also have memories of my dad running out the front door, smoke alarm screaming, to throw black smoking tortillas on the front lawn— he used to make our quesadillas in the broiler– it was a great day when we got our toaster oven!
set off the smoke alarm for the first time yesterday, making french toast for lunch for Hubby and 15 YO sister in law.
The toast was fine, but the oil in the pan started smoking after I was done cooking the toast, and alarms make me panic, so I stood there with hands cupped over my ears, frantically pacing while sister in law laughed and dear husband got the blasted thing to turn off, glory hallelujah!
Only been married 3 months (on this coming saturday, actually) so I don’t have many horror stories yet.
The funniest goof-up, pizza dough that stayed soggy after it should have been cooked – it was my first time cooking in our new apartment, and I was using a new recipe from mother in law.
I almost called her to accuse her of sabotage.
I told Luke (my husband) that his mother was a terrible person, a home-wrecker. He was not amused. And he liked the pizza.
Too funny. I had a dream about a lasagna in the alley last night. It still makes me laugh out loud. I nearly burned down my husband’s family’s condo making peach cobbler that overflowed. He hit it with the fire extinguisher and… the mess! Dear Lord, I can’t even think about it. The granola cookies look great.
Great stories and pictures, as usual! Love your blog!
Shari@Whisk: a food blog
Oh, those smoke detectors have such an evil sound! Your cookies are beautiful.
Oh, man, what a week! Everything seems harder when you’ve just moved. I applaud you for even baking this week.
Your cookies look and sound fantastic!
I feel like I just healthy just by reading it. I mean, eating granola is one thing. Making your own? Well, that’s just earthy-healthy-goodness right there. Even if the granola is going in cookies.
You’re too funny. Making your own granola does give you that earthy domestic goddess sort of feeling, doesn’t it?
I’m domestically challenged in every way but cooking and baking. We eat really well, but the place is horrifically disorganized! I do make my own granola, at least once a week, and I make bread too, which always blows nonbakers away.
Loved reading your post! Hilarious. I often have weeks like that…nothing seems to go right in the kitchen (and quite often the bad luck can happen outside of the kitchen as well…) Your cookies look so good. I try to make my own granola too.