Dorie’s Chocolate Cream Tart and The Most Important Question Ever.
I have a soft spot for wax museums. They’re overpriced and kitschy and when they’re not maintained, the wax guests quickly turn into a collection of has-beens, like a party at Elton John’s. Wax museums are on my mind right now, because the Hollywood Wax Museum is auctioning about 200 figures – from the good to the confusing to the completely unrecognizable. I mean, look what they did to Dolly Parton. She’s a MAN, Baby! A man!
With wax museums, quantity does not equal quality.
The same holds true for this week’s Tuesdays with Dorie recipe, an insanely rich Chocolate Cream Tart, featuring a chocolate shortbread crust, chocolate cream filling and whipped cream sprinkled with chocolate shavings. If you try to wolf down a wedge, the experience will diminish to Robin Williams as “Popeye” territory. Too much. Way too much. But if you can limit yourself to a few bites, maybe even a small sliver, you’ll have a peak experience, like I did when I saw these hideous figures of Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. Ohmagah.
For the recipe, visit Kim of Scrumptious Photography, or pick up a copy of Dorie Greenspan’s “Baking: From My Home to Yours.”
***So, here’s The Most Important Question Ever: If you HAD to have a wax figure in your house, who would it be, and where would you put it? I’m thinking I could turn Mr. T in the world’s most awesome toilet paper holder, but Travolta is equally tempting.***
I would have a wax figure of ROB LOWE…and I'd put it right by the entrance of our apartment. Because if I put it in our bedroom, that could be a problem. LOL.
Your chocolate tart looks fabulous!!!!!
I wouldn't have a wax figure. It would take way to much energy to maintain…all that dusting and everything….ick!
I loved this tart. I put some hazelnut coffee creamer in the custard….fabulous.
Wax museum? Eeeeeew! I feel the same for them that you do clowns, beyond creepy. blech, gives me the shivers all over. If i HAD to have one… a Jonas brother. In comparison i would always feel like my eyebrows were okay and not in need of plucking quite yet.
I wouldn't even know where to begin with the wax figures! :)
Your tart looks amazing!
It's gotta be George Clooney, and I would put him on the couch so I can "watch TV" with him whenever I want! By the way, the wax figures at Mme. Taussaud's in Vegas are significantly more lifelife and less creepy–you would be hard-pressed to tell that it's not really Brad Pitt in that picture with me!
My wax figure would be of Otis Redding and he would be winking at me. He would live in the kitchen.
I think I'd like an Auguste Escoffier t-towel rack in the kitchen.
Thanks!
Rob Lowe! Nice. I'd have to have "St. Elmo's Fire" Rob Lowe with the sax, because he's just burning with musical integrity.
Hazelnut coffee creamer DOES sound good. I've heard you can put it in oatmeal, but I haven't tried it yet.
A Jonas brother! That's awesome. You could have the middle Jonas holding a cell phone to break-up text Taylor Swift.
Thanks!
Wax figures are so hilarious. I went to a wax museum that had a Hall of Criminals, and the Charles Manson figures eyes would follow you around the room. Classy!
Love Madame Tussauds. I went to the one in England and had my pic taken with the royal family. Hot.
Clooney is an excellent choice. Can't argue with that.
Ohhh, a winking Otis Redding! Yessssssss. That would make me smile every day.
Perfect! Maybe you could mount one of those bistro chalkboards to him, too.
Benecio del Torro. No, wait – Clark Gable.
Very nice tart..it looks so tasty. Im not sure about the wax figure question.
I'm not a chocolate person so wasn't for me for the get go but it is an impressive looking tart.
My kids would totally freak if I got a wax figure. They wouldn't sleep for sure. The twins don't even like to take a shower in their bathroom because there's a window.
~ingrid
Ack!! Poor Dolly!! Beautiful tart, though – I love the picture! I'd go for Travolta- any day! :-)
Wax figures give me the willies but the worst are those creepy fake kids, the ones they sell at craft fairs, the ones with no faces that people put in the corners of their house. Eeewww.
You seriously crack me up! What a segway. Your tart looks awesome btw!
OK, I'll play. I'm going to go with Darth Vader for my son's room. He would think that was the coolest thing ever!
I second Keetha's suggestion of Benecio Del Torio! But I'd take Cary Grant over Clark Gable any day.
Love the piped whipped cream design on the top of your tart – looks fabulous.
Wow, those links to that wax museum were something else. Thanks for sharing. I'm guessng that they weren't working with the real celebrities, you know. Dolly and Julia were quite astounding.
Anyway…the tart looks great!!
That may have been the best segue into a Dorie recipe ever. I am still laughing. Well done.
No matter which one you'd choose, you know it would be creepy as hell at night time when you forgot it was a wax figure… That being sad, Fonzy would be kinda cool…
Noooo… I couldn't have one of those creepy things in my house. Besides, the oven is on way to often… it'd be a shame to have a puddle of Popeye in the middle of the living room. I was thinking this tart looked SO delicious. I'd put an orange creme in the center, I think. I may give it a whirl.
Beautiful tart…I could never have a wax figure in my house b/c those thing sfreak me out!
Your tart looks awesome! I love the swirly top – how'd you do that?
I would take a wax figure of Jillian Michaels and stick her in my kitchen. Having her watching over my every move would make me stop stuffing chocolate tart in my mouth and motivate me to exercise!
Some of those are absolutely hilarious! I can't believe whoever made them actually think they look like the person! I must admit… the John Travolta one is the best.
I think I'd want a wax figure of Mr. Clean. I have an abnormal fixation on a cartoon that goes beyond the realm of healthy.
Hazelnut coffee creamer sounds fabulous. I've read that you can add it to oatmeal, too, but I haven't tried it yet.
The guy who played Lurch on the Addams Family, next to the telephone table…"You rang?"
Oh, tough call. I'm a little worried about Benecio being in the Three Stooges movie, though. He'll have to repress a lot of hotness to be Moe.
Oh, I can relate to the window thing. I couldn't stand clowns when I was a kid. My mom would put little clown prints and a clown lamp in my room, and I'd hide them all under the bed.
Looove some Travolta. Saturday Night Fever, Pulp Fiction, whatever.
I can't believe they got Dolly's boobs all wrong. How, how, how?
Oh, now those are just freaky and gross. Same category as the lifelike newborn dolls they show on TV once a year, along with some crazy woman rocking hers and talking about how she "almost thinks it's real." Ewwwwww.
Ah, you're totally right. My nephews are all about those Fatheads posters, but they'd probably LOVE Darth Vader and Spider-Man. Or get really, really freaked out.
Thanks! Oh, I love, love, love Cary Grant. We watched "North by Northwest" a few months ago. Classic.
Thanks! I was amazed by the lack of likeness. Whoa.
Thanks! And since you didn't choose a wax figure, I'll be sure to box up the entire cast of "Bonanza." Hilarious.
Mmmm, forgot about the midnight creepiness. Might have to keep a tarp handy …
And, yes, Fonzy WOULD be cool. You can't go wrong with The Fonz.
Ooh, orange cream would be tasty. A totally different take.
No one wants a puddle of Popeye, except (probably) Robin Williams.
Thanks! I used a big star tip and piped the whipped cream in large, loose swirls.
OMG, Jillian Michaels! That's PERFECT. I think I'd add a sensor, so that when I approached the fridge, she'd say something like, "Beatings, beatings, beatings."
Hm.. how about a wax Johnny Depp (sp?) as Edward Scissorhands in my laundry room.. I could hang my unmentionables on him to dry.
I loved this tart, too, and am thrilled that it's best in small doses, as I was WAYYY less tempted to overeat it.
Thanks!
If you can't choose a wax figure, I'll just box up Patrick Swayze as Dalton in "Road House" and send him to you. You can't go wrong with The Swayze.
Love Cary Grant! We saw "North by Northwest" a few months ago. Classic.
GET. OUT. Mr. Clean? Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean?
Actually, I might keep my kitchen floor a whole lot cleaner if I had Mr. Clean giving me the stare-down.
Niiiiiice! I wouldn't mind having Gomez and Morticia doing the tango in the living room. They could keep Travolta company.
thank you for showing me those wax figures…you have no idea how that just totally made my day!
Johnny Depp would make an EXCELLENT panty hanger.
We haven't been tempted to OD on this tart, either, which is nice. Still, I think Kimberly's idea of having a wax Jillian Michaels in the kitchen is pretty awesome.
I think Jane Fonda had been out in the sun too long. Holy Wax Job, Batman. Those are AWFUL!!!! But maybe a Helen Hays. She would make me look YOUNG!!!!
Your tart, BTW, is beautiful.
I got agree on the creepiness factor. Plus my crazy, climb on everything 15 month old would keep trying to have it pick her up. That said, is it weird that I would love to have Ina Garten sitting at my kitchen bar? Of course, then they would cart me off to the loony bin because I am too busy "chatting" with my new best friend to get anything done?
Your tart looks wonderful!
You already know the answer for this: One Mister Burton Leon Reynolds, Jr.
I just sent my friend all the links to the wax figures. I'm really not sure that I would want any of them in my home, but they really gave me the good laugh I needed today. Your tart looks wonderful. Duly noted on the richness.
Thanks! You need a set of wax figures from the TV show "Bonanza." I can feel it.
They made my day yesterday. Oh, I can't get over the cast of "Bonanza." Hoss! Little Joe!
Thanks! Both Fondas look like they're ready to have meltdowns. They made Leonardo DiCaprio look like a grumpy old man!
Thanks! Ah, Ina Garten would be perfect! And maybe Martha in the laundry room. She could scowl while I folded.
His middle name is Leon? Now I love him even more.
Thanks!
I couldn't get over the Julia Roberts wax figure being so bad. How do you mess up Julia Roberts? And Dolly Parton? Hilarious.
OOO, Martha. Yeah, she would definitely have issues with my household maintenance! I'd have to turn her around while I watching TV instead of cleaning.
ok, what happened with that kate winslet figure. seriously. julia roberts can at least pass for a respectable looking wax figure even if it doesn't look a damn thing like her. but kate looks like a crazy witch. :) my wax figure of choice would be jared leto.
this tart was good, wasn't a huge fan of the crust but i could overlook it.
Maybe we could program her saying only positive things, like "You do that so well" and "Oh, sometime you must teach me." Because I really can't have her judging how I fold t-shirts and fitted sheets. And by "how I fold t-shirts and fitted sheets," I mean "watch too much TV."
Mmm, Jared Leto playing his Jordan Catalano version of "I Wanna Be Sedated." Yes, thank you.
The Kate Winslet DOES look like a witch. Crazy eyes + levitation. Good call.
Haha, what an awesome comparison! Wax figures, chocolate cream tart. Who knew the two had so much in common? I must say, the tart looks totally amazing. Talk about gorgeous! I'm sorry that it was too over-the-top. Points for prettiness though (and points for being scrumptious for a few bites)! Hmmm, I don't want to sound obsessive, but I might have to get a wax sculpture of James Franco. Yeah, I don't even have a joke for that one. I just think he's great to look at.
Dude, you stole my answer! I have a picture of myself next to the Mr. T at Madame Tussaud's in London (he's located in the gift shop, natch) and I'm literally as tall as he is. He's like a 3/4 reproduction of the real Mr. T. Kind of adorable.
Alfred (think Batman) right by the front door to greet everyone. It might be nice to have Julia Child in the kitchen to cook with, but I would be afraid of melting her once all the burners and oven got cranking.
OMGawd, they are some the worst figures I have ever seen. I could do better with paper mache and white glue.
Your tart is beautiful!
I think my figure would be Julia Child in my kitchen.
OMG…. Dolly doesn't even have her shoes on! Criminal. Remember when poor Sister Jenn melted down in the wax museum in Gatlinburg! You had to go in and retrieve her. What fun memories…for us.
Bring home a piece of this, please.
Wow. You are REALLY MAKING ME MISS TWD RIGHT NOW!!!!
Your tart looks so rich and decadent.
I would love to have a Wonder Woman wax figure. I mean, people would think it was me :-)
Now, back to reality! Great question, btw.
Ooh, I love the way you put the cream on top. This one was a bit much for me, but good!
Wax museums scare the life out of me…creepy, creepy things. But not your tart…it is really and truly most wonderful. I love all that fancy swirling you did.
Chocolate cream tart = best dessert ever!
Lol!this post just made my day! Lovely tart!