“Have a nice glass of wine, and take your top off.” – Julia Roberts, on how to have a great Valentine’s Day

Last Valentine’s Day, I made a big mistake. Well, actually, four small ones. A lovely little set of pastel Conversation Heart Mini Cakes. Elisa Strauss (from Confetti Cakes!) linked to them on her blog. My photo of them popped up on other food and design sites.

They were cute, but they were so not for my man. All that fondant? I might as well have shown up for Valentine’s dinner in a turtleneck and sensible pants.

So, this year, it’s not about handmade truffles or homemade lollipops or anything that looks like it would fit right in at the unicorn-themed birthday party of a 4-year-old girl. Nope. This year, Jeff’s getting a huge candy heart full of the culinary equivalent of taking one’s top off: Sausage Balls.

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When it comes to dips, I’m an equal opportunity glutton. Warm spinach and artichoke? Yes. Ro-Tel® Queso? Can’t pass it up. French onion? Give us some privacy.

But every once in a while, you find a dip that transcends the genre, and for me, that’s Seven Layer Dip. Black beans, sour cream (or Greek yogurt), chunky guacamole, fresh salsa, scallions, cheese and cilantro. It’s like a bean burrito in a bowl. And by that, I mean it’s like Heaven.

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“Our meal is free to any members of Division 194. We are with you till hell freezes, and when it does, we will furnish blankets to keep you warm.” – Bennie and Clovis Martin, owners of Martin Brothers’ Coffee Stand and Restaurant, birthplace of the po’ boy

While everyone else counts down to Turkey Day, the clock on the New Orleans Po-Boy Preservation Festival website is marking the seconds until Sunday, Nov. 22. The day historians, chefs, musicians, artists, craftsmen, volunteers and fans will take to the streets to celebrate the poor boy (or po’ boy), New Orleans’ most famous sandwich. A crisp baguette split and barely hanging on to piles of fried seafood or roast beef and gravy, freshly shredded lettuce, sliced tomatoes and mayonnaise, remoulade or Creole mustard.

It’s time to save a culinary treasure from being lost in the swelling sea of torpedo-sized fast-food sandwiches. And if you don’t live near New Orleans, saving the po’ boy means making one.

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A few months ago, I was reading Garden & Gun’s list of “100 Southern Foods You Must Absolutely, Positively Try Before You Die,” and it mentioned the pecan pie at Brigtsen’s Restaurant in New Orleans. Their pie had two ingredients I’d never tried before: ground roasted pecans

After a little trial and error, I came up with this Southern Comfort® Pecan Pie. Chopped pecans mingling with ground pecans that were toasted in butter and cinnamon. A rich, caramel-like mixture of light and dark corn syrups. And a few tablespoons of Southern Comfort® to balance the sweetness and move the pie from “as pure as a prayer” into more interesting territory. It’s a pie with so many layers of flavor and texture, you might forget the whipped cream. Thank you, Frank Brigtsen.

Now, if I can come up with a way to inject Jack Daniel’s directly into our Libby’s® pumpkin pie, this will be a Thanksgiving to remember.

If we can.

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When I posted the Cinnamon Biscuits as a quick alternative to cinnamon rolls, I learned something very important: many, many cooks are yeast-phobic. And I get that. There’s nothing like uncovering a bowl of would-be pizza dough (after hours of waiting) and finding a sad, unrisen, murky pool of nothing.

What we need is a baby step. Something that has the flavor of yeast but doesn’t require all the wishing and hoping and proofing and folding. Something foolproof and delicious.

That’s Beer Bread. Simple. Quick. And so good with a schmear of honey butter or vegetable spread. And a big bowl of soup.

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A few weeks ago it started raining in Nashville and hasn’t stopped, so we now have a small pond in the backyard  that might be able to support life. One of our neighbors helpfully pointed out that the pond wouldn’t be there if I stopped backing into the yard and parked in the garage. Like a normal person. And I’m all, BUT WHERE WOULD WE KEEP THE BODIES? Kidding! But the rain and all that comes with it have given me a sinus infection that’s starting to inhibit my ability to function as a normal person.

So, since I can’t go around town speaking my mind and shaming my mother, I decided to heal myself a truckload of soup. Not a healthy, restorative, vitamin-packed soup, like a minestrone or a country vegetable. Oh, hell no. It had to be something I could eat with Fritos®. Preferably while watching “The Biggest Loser.”

When I was in college, my hometown was hit by a roof-lifting, glass-shattering, building-leveling tornado that cut right across the downtown. What matters most is that everyone was safe, and if you took a drive through the area now, you’d never guess how much has been rebuilt. The only casualties were some of the businesses, including a feed store whose seeds, driven into the ground by the tornado, produced a lot full of sunflowers in the middle of all the construction, and one of Jeff’s favorite restaurants, Moose Creek Beer & Bait House, home of the Rattlesnake Burger.

Moose Creek’s Rattlesnake Burger wasn’t actual rattlesnake but a spicy combination of ground chicken and andouille sausage. One night Jeff and I were talking about the tornado, and he mentioned that burger. With a tone of wistfulness and reverence. So, we picked up a pound of ground chicken and a pound of andouille and spent the next couple of hours experimenting with spice mixtures and making quarter-sized burgers.

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They make it look so easy. Grandmothers, I mean. They just whip out the chicken and the cast-iron skillet and fry up a batch while they’re listening to “Divorce Court,” like it ain’t no thing. You ask them how they do it, and they act like it’s just country cooking. Natural. Effortless.

Grannies lie.

OK, they don’t lie, but there’s nothing simple about frying chicken, especially for beginners. So many decisions. Fryer versus pieces. Oil versus shortening. Cast-iron skillet vs. large pot. Southern-style versus spicy versus extra-crispy. Paper towels versus wire racks. And then there’s the whole overnight soaking thing. So, it helps to have a dependable starter recipe, like this No-Fail Fried Chicken, and some pointers.

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